March 01, 2010
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A Quick Focus to get your started, then:
1) Getting lost in our own stories
2) Manipulate or minister? Depends on whether God is good
3) Inertia
A Quick Focus
No matter how your day has gone so far, no matter how hectic it is, no matter your state of mind right now - Christ is with you.I invite you to close your eyes for just a few seconds. During that time just allow yourself to know that He is present with you. Let yourself know that He loves you, is there with you because He wants to be, and that He has a plan for not only this day but all your days.
If you find something in the way then clear it up with Him right now. If that leaves no time to read the rest of this then don't read it. Your relationship with Christ is THE most important thing in your life.
When you feel at peace - not that everything in your life is perfect - just that you know He is with you, then I invite you now to the rest of the ezine.
Getting lost in our own stories
I was lying in bed kind of dozing and thinking about life. I was wondering why with all the days we live throughout our lives we only remember specific days or portions of them. Why that Tuesday and not the Monday or Wednesday bordering it? And why is it that siblings will often either not remember the same event they both attended or will remember it differently. Then it occurred to me that we are piecing together our story.We place significance on memories that we believe fit our own drama. We forget or just don’t really notice those that don’t. We have a theme or a story line running through our life and we are writing the chapters with chosen memories that maintain it.
If my theme is “I am a victim” then I will hold onto memories that prove that true. If my theme is “life is not fair” then I will remember what makes that true for me life. If my theme is “Life is filled with new and exciting things” then I will live that out as well.
We all tell stories about ourselves in our head. This story is who I believe I am, what I think I can do or not do and the options or limitations of my life. Based on the story I’ve put together I may tell myself, “I can’t do that,” or “This is just how it is,” or any number of self-defeating tales. And we will continue to daily add “proof” that what we tell ourselves is true. We get lost in our story and think it is the only one.
I used to tell myself a different story then I do now. It was a very small, difficult and sad story but as I grew in my love for Christ and I started to really experience His love for me subtle changes appeared in my story. Now, the story I tell myself is vastly different. It is large, exciting, filled with possibilities and promise. What I tell myself about this story enables me to choose differently and live differently.
What is the story you tell yourself about you, your world, your God, your options?
If you find it isn’t a story you’d like to continue living then try telling yourself something different. And question the “I can’t do that” with “why not?” If we intentionally listen to what we are telling ourselves and notice how we are validating that “truth” then we have the first step in changing.
What story do you Want to live?
Manipulate or minister?
Depends on whether God is good.
If God is not good then He won’t meet my legitimate needs for love and acceptance, approval and significance, safety and purpose. Since I have to have these met I will find my own way to get them fulfilled. That usually means I will look to someone else to meet them and will manipulate them anyway I have to try and find fulfillment.If God is good then He will meet all the core needs of my heart. I will know that I am loved and accepted and safe. Now, I will need none of these things from you and am free to minister to you rather than manipulate you to get the life I seek.
I won’t need you to like me or accept me or love me. It would be nice if you did but God meets those needs so I don’t have to try and figure out how to get them from you. That leaves me free to care for you rather than care for what I can get from you.
Whether we believe God is good or not determines whether we manipulate or minister to those around us, defining the base of all our relationships.
The only way to have healthy relationships is to start with a healthy relationship with the Lord. We find our deepest needs met in Him and Him alone. Looking for anyone else to meet our needs will leave us hurt, angry and desperate. And, it will be an endless, impossible quest.
Have relationship problems? Look to THE relationship first. Find yourself fully in Him and the rest of your relationships will begin to heal and become healthy in Him.
Inertia
Inertia: A body at rest will tend to stay that way unless acted upon by an outside force. And, once in motion it takes an outside force to change the current direction. This means that we will continue to do what we have always done and will not initiate change unless something pushes into us and forces that change.Sometimes we just need a good shove to get us going.
Where are you “at rest?” In other words, where are you stuck? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? What outside force could cause you to get moving?
What outcome do you want that your current behavior is hindering? In other words, what are you already doing that keeps you from reaching your goals? What might push you in a different direction?
Recognizing when inertia is playing a big role in your life is the first step in moving in a new way. The next step is looking for what or who will get you moving. Start with prayer. Prayer causes outside forces to work in our lives for good. Sometimes circumstances are the outside force, sometimes it is those around us but, always it is God working in our lives to get us moving and back on course.
If you allow inertia to work against you then you will find yourself in the same place or very far off course down the road. But, you can use inertia to your advantage. Continue to look for those things and people that will get you moving and moving in the right direction.
Bump into someone in your life and let them bump into yours until you are at rest in Christ and headed in His direction.